Half Man Half Biscuit: "The Best Things In Life" Lyrics

My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man

And his wifes a touch skeptical, too.

They've got one of those stickers

In the back of their van; it says:

We've seen the prices at the zoo.

Well today I knocked upon their door

And said that I was passing,

And charlie launched a scathing attack.

When I asked him what I'd done, he said

"You stupid bastard! We live in a cul-de-sac!"

 

Went to Darlene's party; it was fancy dress.

I just stuck an apple in my face.

I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress,

Reckoned he'd beat Gagarin into space.

He said "Hi there {? souls! ?}

Like I'm sorry I'm late!

But I was getting done up

As a mobile thrash acetate!"

Me, I got bored

So I went home,

Got into bed,

And came to the conclusion...

 

There is nothing better in life

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol

There is nothing better in life

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol

There is nothing better in life

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol

There is nothing better in life

Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a Birol

On a Saturday Night instead of going to a pub